A sense of entitlement is often all you need to get every little thing you ever wanted. In Kerrisdale evidence of this is everywhere from the ample free parking, to the flocks of Lululemon encased teenagers with more money than fashion sense. If you find yourself in the mood to eat McNuggets and not confront any thorny social issues choose the Kerrisdale location of McDonalds located at the corner of West 41st Avenue and East Boulevard.
This tony location caters to an entirely different demographic and the evidence is everywhere. The lovely post and beam construction is more reminiscent of Disneyland California Adventure than the usual utilitarian box crouching at every other intersection.
The first floor contains a discrete ordering counter placed off to one side of the main dining area and is angled back so as to not intrude upon intimate dinner conversation. You will find the full McDonalds menu on offer here including all of their most reactionary dietary options. A further nice touch that the experienced McDonalds diner will enjoy is the considerate turning down of the annoying food preparation timer beeps.
If you are seeking a cosier dining experience, playful neon signs direct you upstairs to enjoy the heated exterior patio or a table in front of the gas fireplace. Throughout both dining rooms you will find that the tables and chairs are not affixed to the floor allowing you all the freedom you need to get really close to your fries.
The pleasant ambiance continues with many coherent design touches. Hand coloured artist’s renderings of the character buildings of Kerrisdale grace the walls. The interior lighting is, for the most part, soft and flattering. The clean, pleasant smelling bathroom features fragile dropped light fixtures that have not been torn out by the roots. Expensive stone tile flooring that is not gummy with grease is featured throughout. Drug deals may go on here but they are transacted between people who don’t really need the drugs or the money.
Parents should however take note: there is no playground at this location. It is my suspicion that little Ethan and Brittany’s parents may just be a little bit more litigious than is the cultural norm should their children fall and brain themselves on a plastic statue of the Hamburgler or get a nasty staph infection from a pee contaminated ball room. The children who eat here are properly grateful just to get the delicious food without the usual yucky nutritional concerns – for them it is the exception after all and not the rule.
The servers at this location look marginally less oppressed than most. They are cheerful and careless in a way that is appropriate for a kid with an after school job. The usual underemployed immigrants, exhausted looking pensioners and mentally challenged “team members” are conspicuous only in their absence. The social balancing act that we have come to expect from McDonalds seems apparently to have been exchanged here for something a little easier on the eyes.
Given the usual customer, this may be the only McDonalds in Vancouver where an insistence upon hot french fries will be greeted with resigned compliance rather than incredulity. If you can project the proper local attitude of imperious entitlement and scorn you may well get the best Big Mac you have ever had. You have to really own the part though - they can smell a fraud like they can spot a fake Fendi, like zombies can sense your emotions.
The only real disappointment with this location is the drive-thru. It is very unreliable, especially after midnight when the ability of the staff to speak any language at all abruptly disappears and you will never, ever get what you order, your change will be wrong and you will be laughed at. For take-out go to another location.
(Posted by request - for Kevin)
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2 comments:
Oh, Lisa! I am your biggest fan.
I won't go on about Kerrisdale's entitlement (I feel you are more entitled to than I) but I have noticed a similar scene in my life. Recently the Costco at 12th and Boundary closed and moved to Burnaby. Thus I began shopping at the downtown location.
Et viola: gone are the corner store operators and hoarding immigrant housewives and seedy, surviving entrepreneurs. Now I shop with beautiful Yaletown urbanites. Sexy j-pod types, wealthy MILFS and silver-haired CEOs. My new Costco has a pharmacy, more electronics, nice designer clothing, an optical department and a cell phone counter. It has (paid) underground parking and a lovely new spotless interior.
Downtown Costco members are still looking for a bargain, though. My fave was the earthy, thin and up-to-date Forty-something couple from California. They were astonished that I would pay 25 bucks for a chunk of real Parmesan cheese. Thus I saw through their affluent and trendy exterior to the skinflinty Philistines inside.
I've also noticed at the Downtown location that the linups don't move nearly as quickly, but you don't mind because the people you are in line with make you feel just a bit better about yourself...
I may be turning my back on my East Van peeps... but I feel very little shame in noticing how much I prefer the new downtown digs.
Ha! This is brilliant. I love it.
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